I haven't updated in awhile, and it's not that I haven't been doing a lot (last weekend my Mom & I went to Zina's house and re did her bedroom, & I got a new computer!!) but that I have absolutely been in a funk lately. All year I have been dealing with this and I am hoping that this is the last date that I have to get past that will really depress me, make me cry and make me think about things that could have/would have/should have been.
It's hard for me to believe that this was me:
It's hard for me to believe that this was me:
A year ago. No make up, a skirt, and sweating constantly. Or glistening, as I liked to say :) But it was. It's hard to believe that I spent the majority of 5 months taking bucket showers, eating white rice + whatever food was available and smiling and saying "komotada" and lots of other Marshallese words that I have since forgotten. That I was the only American on a little island in the middle of nowhere. That I lived in a little pink bedroom, was woken up by roosters every morning and kids peeking in my room to ask "school? school? school?" That I was pretty much unfazed by cockroaches, dead fish and the most exciting things to look forward to were mail and radio check in and my weekends on Roi.
When I came home early last November I could not talk or think about the Marshall Islands with out crying or wanting to cry. Coming home early was (to say the least) a difficult & heart breaking decision. It's hard to imagine that at this time, last year, I was just starting to hear the rumblings of dengue fever, and an epidemic and I was nonchalant about the whole thing. I didn't (and no one did) realize how quickly it would spread or how big of a danger it would become. I thought that I was invincible, and I was wrong. It weighs heavy on me even as I have never doubted I made the right decision for me.
When I came home early last November I could not talk or think about the Marshall Islands with out crying or wanting to cry. Coming home early was (to say the least) a difficult & heart breaking decision. It's hard to imagine that at this time, last year, I was just starting to hear the rumblings of dengue fever, and an epidemic and I was nonchalant about the whole thing. I didn't (and no one did) realize how quickly it would spread or how big of a danger it would become. I thought that I was invincible, and I was wrong. It weighs heavy on me even as I have never doubted I made the right decision for me.
I wanted to share some pictures that I never did get to share because when I got home last year I was just not ready. But ironically, these were taken exactly one year ago today, October 27th, 2011. I have lots more pictures that I have started to go through and I want to share more of them later.
But for now... today I am sitting in a rainy little town in the library but here is what I was doing a year ago-
Hanging out on the dock of my little island home.♥ ♥
Now I fully plan on spending the rest of the weekend laying around watching movies. xo
Post a Comment